Hi Annalisa, from Women Who Emigrate Abroad (DCEE), where you too write about your life abroad, you are all women and Italian expatriates. How do you promote Italianness in the world?
What a difficult question!
I run the risk of going against the tide and being unpopular, but I don't promote Italianness in the world, at least not in a conscious way. Having decided to live in a new country, my main goal is to integrate myself and therefore to understand and make my own the culture that welcomed me. Obviously this does not mean passively absorbing everything with which I come into contact, in most cases I rework the new elements in the light of the old ones and, perhaps, in this interpretation I “contaminate” the world around me with Italianness. On one thing, however, I fight hard: pasta is eaten al dente and mixed with the sauce, it is not used as a side dish to other dishes. After all, I remain Italian at heart and the pasta cannot be touched!
How did the idea of opening a blog about women expatriate abroad come about?
The idea of opening the blog was born from the mind and initiative of Katia Terreni who guides and coordinates us in this fantastic adventure. I came across it by chance Women who emigrate abroad and it was love at first sight. Emigrating for better or for worse is a difficult choice that involves the deeper aspects of a person's life and creates a real emotional earthquake. You question everything, you find yourself an adult, in my house over forty, having to start from scratch. You have to reinvent yourself and the need to compare yourself with those who have made a similar choice is really great. You have to understand if the others have the same feelings as you, face the same problems. There is a strong need to compare experiences and adaptation strategies.
What are the main reasons why a woman decides to leave Italy?
In Italy we had stopped dreaming, we had reached the maximum we could aspire to. We felt, my husband and I, prisoners of our life. We could see no future for our son and no chance of growth for us. But perhaps, at least for me, there was also a feeling of non-recognition with the surrounding world, in Italy I didn't feel at ease, I didn't feel at home.
All women linked by the common experience of living abroad, but live in places that are often very far from each other. How did you find yourself?
We found each other by chance thanks to Katia and the fantastic virtual world that makes us all close. We found ourselves in our stories, in our affinities, in our problems.
Reading some of the articles present in the blog you can see that some of you have lived in several foreign countries. Isn't there a risk of feeling rootless? Where is "home"?
I am lucky, I only made one move and no others are planned. I left Italy for a conscious choice, it was no coincidence, the opportunity to leave was sought with the lantern. Do I feel rootless? After three years I am still reflecting on this question. In Italy, as I said before, I didn't feel at ease. Part of me has quarreled with Italy and doesn't want to be Italian, but on the other hand I'm not even French and I don't think I'll really become one even when I can ask for nationality. If I have to answer the question where is home? I have no doubts about this home is in Annecy, for the first time in my life, in a rented house and in a foreign country I feel at home, I feel protected. Let's say that at the moment I am a citizen of the world residing in France. Maybe in a few years I will answer this question more fully, when I have put all the ideas in order.
For the same reason, do you happen to think about what could be the best place to raise a child?
I have no doubts about this, the best place to raise my son is Annecy. Most of us emigrate to try to offer a better future for our children. Of course we are far from affections it is true, and this could be a handicap for expat children, but surely what we can offer them here in Rome was little less than a utopia.
What advice would you give to a woman who decides to move to another country?
To experience the transfer as an adventure, to be curious and open to news. To analyze everything with a pinch of irony and humor. Whether expatriation is a parenthesis in our life or a definitive choice can enrich us in unexpected ways, we just have to be eager to learn and compare ourselves.
Since you started writing this blog, what has changed in your life?
Women who emigrate abroad made me feel part of a community, it allowed me to confront myself, to look inside myself, to meet wonderful people, to make friends and to relativize problems and distances. Most of us live thousands of miles away and yet friendships have developed that really bode well.
Your book “Women who emigrate abroad” is a collection of stories. Here you tell yourselves, revealing even intimate aspects concerning the experiences lived far from Italy. How did you feel when you finished writing it?
I met Katia Terreni and Donne who emigrate abroad after the book was written. I can tell you what I felt by reading it. Meanwhile, the anthropologist in me was delighted with the descriptions of different places and customs, in practice I went around the world. The expatriate, as I am, has recognized herself in many anecdotes, has found food for thought where she felt some perplexity and has found so much comfort and courage to face the difficulties that can inevitably be encountered in such a path.
Is there anyone in particular to whom each of you feels you want to dedicate this book?
Trivially I could say to those who have to leave their country, in reality it is a book that I would recommend to all women who go through difficult times, who do not have faith in themselves. The stories collected in this book are stories of women of different ages, beliefs, cultures; the reasons that brought them to the most remote corners of the world are the most disparate, but one characteristic unites them all, unites us all: we are women, wonderful strong, obstinate, fantastic. We can go anywhere and do anything, the stories collected in this book are proof of that.
Interview released by Annalisa Allegri, Annecy, France.
