I'm Benedetta. I have lived with Simone for almost two years. He is a baker and has continued to work with Coronavirus as well. Instead I am an educator in a nursery.
At the benning of the lockdown I stayed home. Then came Phase two. And even if nurseries remained closed, I started working again as a babysitter. In a way, I went back to my origins. I started this fifteen years ago. That's how I got passionate about children.
I've always wanted to do this job. Now I am studying to become a childhood and primary teacher. Video lessons on Skype, mail. The way we interact has changed, but my goal remains the same.
Working with children fills my heart. Although with the frenzy of these times we can no longer perceive certain things. Being with them is rediscovering amazement for small things. We would all need it. Especially in these moments.
In this period I missed all this. I felt deprived of a part of me. I remember a similar period for me a year ago. I was not renewed in my asylum contract after three years. For me it was the loss of everything. I missed the routine, the job. And apathy has crept in. The same perceptions that I had with the beginning of the quarantine. But just taking advantage of that experience, I decided to react and plan my days. And so I saved myself from the sense of bewilderment. But I was left with fear.
Fear of having to go back to the initial phase above all, just now I'm starting to breathe again. And then fear that my grandmother in a while, if I continue to not see her, she won't remember me, because she is sick with Alzheimer's.
Instead I am not afraid of the dark, nor of facing it. This darkness, inside and out, which has prevented us from seeing and understanding each other in these months. I know that there are the right energies in me to do it.
Nor am I afraid to give myself and give love, and to do it as soon as possible. Because if there is one thing that has become very clear to us these days, it is that we are not eternal. Let's not keep the good inside waiting to use it who knows when. The time is now. Our time.
So I wish me and all my friends and family members to be grateful for what we have. To find what we are looking for. To feel love and compassion for everyone, starting with ourselves.
